A feminine touch is so very wonderful in the right place, the blessed venue for which it was designed and created. On the other hand, coddling is one of those fuzzy sins that just “feels so right.” Like any kind of illicit love, it seems so “good” and is difficult to stop. Homeschooling can provide a scenario that is wide open for coddling and spoiling the clever child. Reasons include the possibility that the time for reveille and taps may be too flexible, standards too negotiable and grades subject to run-away inflation. Babying is wonderful, but usually becomes a debilitating vice, one that is hard to acknowledge and harder to stop. Coddling is a national obsession among rock stars and millionaire athletes who suffer the consequences of too much, too soon. Jaded personalities, foul and unthankful attitudes are notorious for finding ultimate failure later on, when times get tough and the easy life is no longer possible. Where 95 Is A Low Grade This may seem to be a harsh comparison but homeschooling, on a smaller scale, can have similar results. Withdrawal may present a troublesome challenge for those who have never been forced to face reality, those who have never received a grade lower than a 95. When mom’s cheers and accolades go silent, when grammar and style are subject to a critical professor or a trenchant employer, the student then will whisper a little prayer of gratitude if you have persisted in a non-coddling policy. Set goals to get your children ready for the standards that they will face out in the world, the world that God created, not the one you attempt to create. Remember that merely coming up to standards is not always good enough for Christians. Integrity demands that we do better than what is expected. Dominion in the Kingdom of our Lord is at stake! Where Whine And Pout Don’t Count Mothers were made by God to care and to have the special kind of compassion that reflects God’s tenderness. They round out the parental management and nurture that shows, from our first breath, the mercy and grace of the Lord. Just as sinful human beings can warp even the best of God’s blessings, mothers are prone to over-emphasize this aspect of their calling. Feeling sorry for a child when he has been trying hard is okay, once in a while, but if it becomes a habitual crutch, or if son or daughter learns how to solicit mother with whine and pout, then a more serious problem is at hand. The best mothers are those who know how to balance mercy with justice, how to stabilize pity and principle. These are Oscar-winning moms who are also the most respected. Christian fathers should always have a significant role in the homeschooling schedule. Though it might be difficult because of the demands of earning a living or managing a business, a father’s influence is a prime requirement. Often enough, coddling may be the result of too much work and responsibility being left to mother, who is expected to carry the entire educational load. If it feels right, but you know that it is wrong, don’t do it. That sentence may be too long to fit on your bumper, but it works. Fight against the tendency to stretch your ear too far for excuses and whining about assignments. Be wary of the clever ability of children to know how to push the right button on your empathy board. Learn to suspect a grade sheet with all 95s and above, even when you are the author. Don’t hesitate to use the 75s and 70s when they are honestly needed. Coddling Harmful In Other Domains This sin crops up in other ways. Racial problems are made the worse by coddling. Weaknesses that are always excused never get changed. Human nature is geared to take the course of least resistance or to live comfortably with foolish pretext or extenuation. The poor are stifled by pampering. When they might make progress, civil government or some errant church group comes along to keep them in distress with penny handouts. Again, coddling seems so right. It would appear to be a heartless omission to offer only limited assistance, gleaning opportunities, for example, commanded in God’s law. The end result, however, too often is offense or confirmation in distress. Coddling Is A Camouflaged Sin Coddling is often the easiest thing to do. That’s why it flourishes so agreeably, even in Christian homes. Both parties tend to give in to its gentle and addicting techniques. Both sides lose, but indulgence is so sweet. Fathers may be coddlers too. Perhaps they were babied and given only soft landings in their early years. The feminizing of education is a camouflaged sin that really expresses a latent dissatisfaction with God’s standard. It says that man has a better way because God is a mean and insensitive despot who doesn’t understand and who demands too much. Anti-coddling measures shouldn’t be thought of as severe or unfeeling. Truth is the standard we seek. Learning to accept and love the truth is a chief responsibility of a Christian home. Learning to live with the actual world that God created is lesson number one. As a starting point, always remember the spiritual paradigm. Our Heavenly Father does not coddle His covenant people. Rather, He accounts their sins to His Son, in whom He has punished them fully under the law. By faith they obtain His righteousness. Only in Christ do they get a better grade than 99. DKDykema chc-dd 01/99 | 
